OLS.

I find it interesting how we all come up with our concept of love and what it really means to love someone. My question would be how do you know if you’re doing it right? and what you’re actually feeling is love? I met a woman once who said people often don’t know how to express themselves the right way because they don’t have the right words. I’m just going to say this I can’t wait to actually experience real love and everything that comes with it. I watch couples whenever I’m out and I watch their body language and how they communicate with one another. I think one of the best depictions of love I seen was when I was at the purple onion and a man and woman walked in they were talking so close and intimately the way she lingered towards him it was so powerful to me as I write this out I see it replaying in my mind. Then another instance my best friend just got a girlfriend and honestly I never thought I’d see the day, back in my Stillman days we sat outside and he would express to me how he wished that he could find a girl that connected not only sexually but spiritually and mentally with him, so when they came over to the house I was immediately hit and weighed down by their energy I think it’s the Pisces senses kicking in our element is water– pick up vibrations I dunno something of that nature ha! But I remember my other best friend (who happens to be the biggest sex head I know) ask them about their sex life and I recalled Syf saying when you’re spiritually and mentally connected to someone sex isn’t even a big deal. I knew immediately wanted the bond Kayla and Syf shared because I honestly feel like I never met a guy who didn’t want to have sex with me.. but the way I view sex I’ve always seen it as something more much more then how it’s thrown around in our generation today so casually. I see it as something sacred between two lovers I see it steamy, passionate, fulfilling, and beautiful I see it leaving you full and never empty. Almost like an overfilled cup. My encounters have never been anywhere close to it and I’ve decided to become celibate and save it for the right person. I look back on the past and I feel like all some guys felt like they had to offer me was sex, sex is fine but what that mind like tho?! See what i’m saying? I rather fall in love with a mans mind so I can understand him so that I can know him. I want to fall in love and know it’s real before sex and by understanding his mind and really knowing him don’t you think that would make it even better? Meditating together, growing together, reading together, and knowing one another inside out so when that time for sex comes it’s unlike something you’ve ever imagined?? I’m getting chills thinking about it. That to me sounds like love. But then you have the opposing side like my sister who says why wait if it’s already going to happen? I consider myself semi open when it comes to sex I don’t mind it I love the structure I love the art of it all but to me it’s just something I rather keep private and to myself. I just think some of us are sometimes too ashamed to admit it but why? Because sometimes it’s not connected to love? Are some of us afraid to admit we enjoy lust?

xoxoxoxoxo

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