Black…..Love

Ya’ll I can’t stress it enough how beautiful Love is to me. You know I’m satisfied with my life on a good day, but most days I just wish I could be ducked off in the cut with my king. I can’t count how many times I’ve watched Love Jones, spent hours scrolling on the black love page on Tumblr (yes I’m a tumblr gal) . I live for Black Love it’s the most beautiful, purest form of love I’ve ever came into contact with. A king and a queen….. just that phrase alone does something to me. And what I’ve been seeing the most is natural couples 😄 do you know how that makes all black girls feel around the world? We’ve all been brought up to think just because we have a darker skin tone than our oppressors we aren’t beautiful. How does a little black girl even believe she’s beautiful if she doesn’t grow up hearing her own daddy saying it to her? They say a girls daddy is her first true love, so I wonder where that left me? How does a little black girl know she is a young beautiful black queen? When all the queens she see’s on tv growing up were of a white complexion? Beauty in the media hmm I rarely remember seeing one black face; except at my house on a week day, jetting down those green carpeted steps rushing to my mom’s room always noticing the copy of jet magazines spreaded neatly on the kitchen table. I wonder if that was on purpose….? but I remember always flipping through that magazine and seeing pictures of black couples, the beauty of the week, success stories and it was all blacks! I could never get past that. But I do remember being happy because at the time I had what most black children didn’t growing up in that town… a home, a family. You see time was pretty good back in those days my mom met a man and they begin to see each other, we were living in Fairfield at the time and I remember him always coming over he’d bring my brother Anthony to play with Nique and I we bonded instantly. So one day I remember we were moving into the house our parents just bought we slept on the living room floor that night (my mom, sister and I). And everything felt alright. See we’ve always grown up in a home my mother made sure we never went without but at this particular time it was a different type of home. A mom a dad a sister, brother type of home. We’d go to church every Sunday as a family have Sunday dinners as a family, and have bible study as a family ha we’d even eat our snacks as a family well at least we did (Nique, Anthony, and Larry. I just recall it always being a beautiful time. And it was a beautiful time . I feel like every black child shouldn’t go without that type of love. So when it finally ended I remember I wrote my step dad a letter hmmm I wonder if he still has that letter? But it was like the ground shook underneath me.. I remember as a child I kind of took my step dad for granted my sister and I thought he was so strict and we were always on punishment mainly my sister tho lol . But looking back on the life lessons and the talks he gave us I’m glad that he still manages to be around even years after my mom and him separated well mainly because he’s my little brothers father, but I also look at him as the father I never had.. He never misses a birthday always coming in clutch with the cards, whenever we need something he’s still there, and for advice oh we know he’s going to talk us to death. And I feel like only a real man can step up to that type of responsibility he doesn’t have to do those things but he still does and that’s why I’ll always look more to him than my own dad as my father figure. I want my children to know what it’s like to grow up into a family of black greatness because we are that! I want them to experience both parents and most of all I can’t wait to teach them things. I can’t wait to teach them to love and know themselves, to tell them they are beautiful kings and queens and to never settle for less, to teach them if something is on your mind never be quiet be outspoken about it, and if you feel that you can change anything in this world to go for it, I will never set limits on what they can and cannot do, because if you put your mind to it then you can do it. Just because I was never raised that way I truly believe that’s why I want to work with youth, black youth especially because I know a lot of black children do not have that extra push. I want them to believe in themselves.  I wanna spread greatness. I wanna spread Black Love.
Xoxoxoxoxo

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