Bio Dad

Its like the older I get the more and more I want to know about my biological father. As I’ve expressed before the only father figure I’ve had in my life was my step dad I love him and I just feel like I can talk to him about anything and that’s the best feeling ever don’t get me wrong. But, I’d really like to know who my bio dad is— I wanna know who I see when I look in the mirror, where I get some of my wildest desires from, and mainly who I am. I know everything about my mom and I see a lot of similarities because I know her so, with my bio dad I want to be able to know him and say

“oh now I know where I get that from”

I want to form a really strong bond with him.

Okay, so let me tell you all the story, my 9th grade year my mom was kind of having financial difficulties and she wanted to take out child support on the man I thought was my biological father. So we went and took a DNA test and that was done. So some months had passed and my sister and I came home one day and my mom was in the living room crying so me I don’t like seeing anyone I love hurt so I kneeled down in front of her on the verge of tears and said

“momma what’s wrong?”

and that’s when I found out my real dad wasn’t my dad. Imagine being 15/16 finding out there your whole life was basically a lie. So I ignored it but it always stuck with me. This is where it gets rough this year on my 20th birthday the question formed in my mind who is my father so I remember texting my mom and asking her about my biological father and the crazy thing is she finally came completely clean about it. The man I’ve been calling my father isn’t actually my father and even my grandparents and he even knew I wasn’t theres biologically ( they never treated me any different). That really hurt me, because I hate secrets and it’s like everyone knew except me. It kind of fucked me up. My mom even told me she had been trying to find him so that she could have the information ready for me, but all she had was a first name. So…… that’s where I am stuck, she told me she’d help me find him but I only have is a first name. When I go home I want to begin my quest to find him. I don’t know why this was on my mind so heavy but it is, and I barely ever share this with anybody. So yeah, take it easy folks i’ll be back!

xoxoxoxoxoxo

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