Stuck

So last night I was walking my dog Kendall and happened to run into this random guy at the park. I was sitting on the other side of the park but saw a cigarette light so I knew I wasn’t alone I usually come to the park at night and watch the stars and moon and meditate I call it the “contemplation bench” I sit here usually twice a day when I  need some clarity. So I already knew my dog was going to end up barking his head off so I prepared myself to get up. Something told me to go talk to the guy so I did we ended up blazing and talked about life it was interesting.

The guy and I are so much alike he’s 23 and he’s traveled all over the US he went and traveled on the road with his old mag team and I thought that was pretty awesome he wants to travel throughout Russia and learn martial arts and I told him how I wanted to travel as well and just go somewhere far and forget about everything and everyone I know.

Yes it sounds a little selfish but last night was completely eye opening to me. We talked about our lives and our paths and how people follow a certain way of life and deep down inside they know exactly how that story ends, I don’t want to be a girl who follows a life of misery because I was afraid to do what I wanted. Relating back to my last post I know how this life ends why not do something different. If your life is predictable you’re not living the right way it just doesn’t make sense.

So I came home and began thinking to myself and thought about how unhappy I am at the moment because I’m so bored with my life its frustrating its literally the same everyday. I guess I’m really good at faking it.

Yesterday was like the day of understanding I had a weird dream I don’t remember it fully but I do remember a guy telling me the way that I am living my life I’m going to be stuck if I don’t do something about it (my life) and I just remembered going straight to tears and crying because he was so right and I don’t want to be stuck.

I called a good friend I know who gives me hope in all my situations we didn’t talk long because he was on his way to class he told me he was in Paris and I instantly felt better  (for a moment) at least someone is getting out and seeing the world. And you know what? I will do the same…

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