Venting .

If I were to admit to not having dreams would everybody look at me in a different way and think I had no direction? Society has its way of making us feel like we have nothing going for ourselves if we aren’t constantly busy working towards some goal or chasing some dream. Today I want that to change. Maybe I’m a little hard on myself? And maybe I know the world is watching so I want to make a good impression? But truth be told nobody is ever watching as hard as you think they are of course they’ll have their preconceived notions or etc but that’s it we’re all to busy focusing on ourselves with the same worries I think? But I was just sitting here thinking to myself I don’t really think I have any like huge dreams or goals and it almost feels wrong. I know I want to do something great in this world and create something so meaningful that it’ll change someone’s life or even outlook. I just make an impression on the world even though I don’t know how I’m going to get there yet but I’m working on it. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who doesn’t have my whole life figured out and then again I think well maybe it’s not a bad thing. And as far as goals go I just want to do what I have to do so that my son can have a great life and I know material things don’t necessarily mean a great life. I just want him to have the opportunity to experience a lot of things that I was unable to experience until I made it happen for myself. I want him to be enriched, worldly I want him to have everything. So maybe that is one of my dreams? But that can’t be it you know? My only mark on this world can’t be just being a mother or can it? Truth is I don’t know I’m still growing, learning, and experiencing life myself. I just feel so old sometimes and like I need to have everything together. I guess not huh?

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