I’ve had so many things on my mind lately I don’t even know where to start on this post I’ve deleted like 3 different sentences starting off lol. I guess I never realized how much I do enjoy my blog and how much I really do love sharing my experiences, advice, or etc. with the world. I’ve been super lazy this week with work I can tell you all that but then again that’s not an excuse writing is always my number 1 priority so I’ll get back in the groove of that. I don’t know if I’ve shared with you all but recently I finished Giovanni’s Room and it made me sorry that I just got into his writing I read Sonnys Blues twice both for English classes but I always thought that was such a good story it kind of reminded me of my sister and I minus the drugs it was more along the lines of being so protective you always want the best for them like I know we’re a year apart yet I feel so much older than her. It’s strange..

But anywho I’ve been telling myself I want to study and read more novels written by German novelists and poets. I find what I’ve read so far from them they write along the lines of morality, good and evil and I guess maybe since I’m a bit interested in philosophy myself it forced me to want to dive in head first. I see it like this the more you know and take in the better success rate you have for a really interesting novel.

Now I’ve been in the research stages of my fiction memoir and I really want to get it started I just don’t know how or where to start it’s frustrating a little but I know we can’t ever force writing it just has to come on its own. Which brings me to my next conclusion I really need to learn how to better discipline myself and set aside some time for writing so that I can really be successful. So quick you all don’t have to answer at once lol can anyone give me some tips to help me become a better disciplined writer? Or is it all on me to figure out?

Trying to find my voice…

She knew the law of persuasion but was too much of a people pleaser always wondering why everything in her life was a secret? She didn’t trust men but would always feel the need to give it away. reliving her mothers shadows

Last night I was having a nice little walk with my dog Ken and when I’m outside especially at night. I usually talk aloud and get everything off my mind that I’ve thought about throughout the entire day so this goes on for awhile just sharing my day and concerns and then out of nowhere this question forms in my mind : what do you want from life? How do you see it? And I really had to think about it for a moment but what came to my mind was that I want to share my life with everyone. I just want to give back. I want to save enough money to the point that I have no worries and I can just travel the world and focus on my writing. I want to take care of my family and then just really get close to myself really feel myself out you know? I wanna discover things, I wanna grow mentally, physically, spiritually and I wanna let go . Its funny I was talking to my uncle about this and he says : oh sounds like you’re ready for monkville” lol. But I dont necessarily see it that way at all . I just want to see so many things. I just recentlt finished Baldwin’s Giovanni’s Room and wow is all I could say. I want to evolve to that level of writing. Another thing I actually changed my blog name to the metamorphosis of lone because I see myself going through many changes just moving completely forward in my life. I don’t mean to put pressure on myself but by the time im 30 I want to be comfortable enough to travel t h e entire world so that gives me ahhh say 9 years. Wow I wonder what my life will be 9 years from now? Will I still be alive 9 years from now? Wow that’s interesting. I sorta can’t wait to find out . Lol but this is me just ranting 🙂

Sundaze

I danced today. No I really enjoyed myself today I don’t know what it was about today but something in me happened. It was like I let go of all the unnecessary worries and just lived right in that moment I laughed and I had a great time. The best part about it was that I was alone. Its really beautiful when you can pick yourself up and make yourself feel good. I also got my first writing assignment for this new writing job that I forgot to tell you guys about!! 😦 I do apologize for that! I’m a writer for this online magazine called The Urban Release its mainly pop culture type deal but any start is better than no start at all you know? One day I see myself writing for a big time magazine, along with writing a book. But hey I just wanted to share today. I hope all of you guys had a great Sunday!

demons.

Or maybe I just hold onto things that don’t need to be held onto any longer? This thought came to mind when I realized I had no one to really share my life with. I’ve been afraid to move forward with my life because somewhere inside me I feel like I’ll be making a mistake . A move doesn’t change anything except the scenery and people around you, what I’ve learned is that people can’t escape their demons eventually you have to learn to face them so here I am encouraging the idea now lets see how it goes.

i

Most days I feel like my life is so empty .

Free Write

Everyday she’d sit at the park enjoying the scenery talking with nature. Sometimes it seemed as if nature were her only friend. She had so much to say with very few people to share it with more so she was satisfied with everyone in her life it was just that she longed for a companion. Someone that would raise her spirits when she felt as if she had nothing left. It didn’t have to be romantic all the time just someone she could watch the trees with and stir up meaninglessness intellectual conversation.

Someone to make her feel less lonely in such an empty world. She longed for someone she could share her world with and her perspective on things. Movies, songs, books they all had their idea of the way love was supposed to go but Luna had her own vision. Love in this world was shallow nobody really knew what it meant in fact she didn’t even know what it meant but she was reluctant to come up with her own meaning. She wanted to feel the joy birds felt as they sang in sync with the trees blowing in the wind.

The harmony the calmness she thought that’s how love should feel all the time. That feeling you can’t explain when you wake up on the wrong side of the bed pull your blinds up and the beauty of the sun takes you to a different place. That was love and the more she thought about it the more the idea of what love was to her seemed to fade like a distant memory within her forbidden dreams.

Strange

Lately the thought of anything permanent seems to be freaking me out and honestly I don’t know why but its weird.. I’ll be back though my laptop is dying and idk where the charger is  -____-

Liebster Award

Wow! So I’ve been nominated for the Liebster Award by @HumAq @gunroswell @luisa4florez and @artman415 I don’t even know how to tag people in this post I’m such a failure and sorry I’m so late responding but thank you all for the nominations! You all have very awesome blogs as well and I enjoy your posts very much!

Now I get to nominate 10 bloggers of my own choice.

1. http://imthebeginning.wordpress.com/

2. http://www.platosgroove.com/

3. https://ninakimaniblog.wordpress.com/

4. https://authenticitee.wordpress.com/

5. https://10000hoursleft.wordpress.com/

6. http://lovelyreflections.org/

7. https://icecoffeecouture.wordpress.com/

8. https://seriouslyrebecca.wordpress.com/

9. https://angles12.wordpress.com/

10. http://microyogi.com/

1. List 5 things you thought of to write about as you read through this blog post.

Surprisingly I haven’t really thought much about it, I’m just going to go with the flow. I kept seeing the notifications and I said to myself let me do this right now while I’m not doing much of anything with my life. lol.

2. What was one of your parent’s favorite songs?

Okay so my mom grew up in the 80s and she’s constantly telling my siblings and I about music she loves music so much. So I’m going to go with the most recent song we talked about Pleasure Principle by Janet Jackson. My mom said she used to watch the video a million times a day just to get the dance moves down and to my surprise I actually like the song very much myself.

3. Do you like fruit pulp in your juice?

No, I actually hate pulp in my juice it’s like really weird to me. I always feel as if the pulp just doesn’t belong there. Especially when you’re drinking the juice really fast and all the pulp flows into your mouth I just think it kind of ruins it for me.

4. What do you think of when I say, “wooden spoon?”

I think of mixing spaghetti together, for some reason my mom had this old wooden spoon that kind of had pieces of wood sticking off of it and it bothered me a lot whenever I had to stir the spaghetti with it because I didn’t want the wood getting into the food although it never did 🙂 .

5. Have you stood on top of a mountain and watched the sunrise?

I have not actually but it is on my bucket list for sure!

6. Have you seen something unexplainable, like a UFO or Sasquatch?

No! I wish only on movies or YouTube lol.

7. Which sports team is your favorite?

Uhhh I’m not really a sports type of gal.

8. Have you ever picked up a hitchhiker?

I’ve never picked up a hitchhiker.

9. Which movie star would you want to portray you on the big screen?

Very good question! Because I really don’t now

10. There appears to be no 10th question, so I’ll make one up. Ummm…if you could go back in time and meet Abraham Lincoln, what would you say to him?

Wow, you’re very tall.

1. What’s the last thing you think about before going to bed?

I think about my goals and the future or what it is that I need to work on to get better as a person.

2. What’s your favorite word, in any language? It could even be a made up word, like flurble, for example. No, I don’t know what it means.

The French noun Flaneur it means: one who strolls around aimlessly but enjoyably, observing life and his surroundings. I have a big admiration for nature so I think that pretty much describes me.

3. Would you want to live forever? Why, or why not?

I think we do live forever well our souls at least traveling through different dimensions and etc. but hey that’s just me lol.

4. Describe your childhood pet (or the one you wish you had).

My childhood pet was a golden retriever her name was Free because she always ran around free.

5. What minor thing bothers you more than it should?

The littlest chewing, cackling sounds. Naturally I could just ignore it but I don’t I will stare at a person until they stop.

6. What food will you absolutely not eat? And I don’t mean due to allergies or any other conditions, just food you plain don’t like.

Okra, its too gross and slimy.

7. What does the word ‘comfort’ mean to you?

A state of being relaxed and completely comfortable to be yourself in any scenario.

8. What makes you smile, no matter how grumpy you’re feeling?

Kendall my dog, just watching him and seeing how happy life makes him reminds me that I should always be smiling to.

9. What personality trait or quirk of yours do people notice the most?

I’d say that I’m a dreamer they can almost always see a glow in my eyes.

10. Is it really better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all? Also, how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? (Ok, ignore that second question)

I would say it’s better to have loved and lost because at least you had the opportunity to love and you still have the memories after it all.

Okay folks here are my 10 questions for you lovely nominees:

1. What is your favorite book and why?

2. Your favorite place in the world would be?

3. If you were stranded on an island and could bring one thing what would it be?

4. The perfect date?

5. If you could visit any time in the past where would you go?

6. A movie that describes your life?

7. The nicest deed you’ve ever done?

8. Do you like stargazing?

9. Your spirit animal?

10. You’re happiest when?

Once you are nominated, make a post thanking and linking the person who nominated you.

– Include the Liebster Award sticker in the post too.

– Nominate 10 other bloggers who you feel are worthy of this award. Let them know they have been nominated by commenting on one of their posts. You can also nominate the person who nominated you.

– Ensure all of these bloggers have less than 200 followers.

– Answer the ten questions asked to you by the person who nominated you, and make ten questions of your own for your nominees.

– Lastly, COPY these rules in the post.

5:15

Do you ever think about people you’ve met in your life and wondered if you could of been “more than just friends” or you felt like the friendship or whatever could’ve blossomed to something much more? Yeah me too lol . Its strange I was thinking to myself how that happens and why it happens? Does it mean there’s room in the future for something to grow? Or its just an unfortunate thing? Life is interesting and mysterious that way I guess. But just a random thought that happened to cross my mind .